no-man-is-an-i

The glass broke.

The windows cracked in crescendo.

Staccato. Legato.

The water touched the floor and we were on different furniture. Making sure what can’t be wet get touched like electric things that can make the flood electrocute us.

We sat there just observing, waiting.

Nobody speaking.

The wind sounded like a cat crying. Wailing. It was so loud. The whisper so loud. It reached my ears and back without a break.

The louder is grew, the more silent we become. The more alert we become. More cracks and glass that breaks. More things that move inside.

More prayers that moved inside of us.

Lord, may this house hold.

I watch people run and hear some do last minute evacuations outside of the window.

We move to pick up pieces of glass that might find themselves on the floor just in case there were any.

I hear trees break. I hear tiles fly. I see rooves gone.

I feel the big thud of a very old tree offer its life to the floor.

The wind is mixed with sand. I smell the sea.

I smell blood.

I smell peas, pee, and every in-between.

I see the way the leaves start circling.

Split second-I worry about my mother. She’s gonna fucking die of shock. She doesn’t even know I was here for months.

Quickly, I save that thought for later- what the fuck is going on to the people who didn’t get to evacuate? God, please tell me everybody near the seawall left.

Splitsecond- How’s that boy I…? Is he alright? Please tell me he’s alright. What the fuck.

What can I do?

I return my focus to the house. I check for anything that may risk anybody’s health. I watch and observe Sol and Jas. I know we’re all letting the typhoon go through us.

I hear another thud.

I hear another round of winds circling ruins.

I hear my breath with it.

I hear theirs.

I don’t hear my heartbeat.

I have no more thoughts after 3 quick seconds of letting them pass.

I just see.

It’s the afternoon. It’s been hours. Sometime in the middle, somebody played music in attempts to lighten. We move when we remember something helpful or have an actual need to.

(I don’t remember much anymore during this time in chronological order. This wasn’t even half of our experience)

If any of us needs to pee, we pee standing up on the toilet. Same if we need to shit.

It’s too flooded to try sitting.

It’s too dirty to risk it.

Feelings fly like the wind.

The night nears and we’ve done every prayer in our own way and together without saying Amen, nor God, nor making the sign of the cross. We pray.

The wind has slowly calmed. None of us expecting anything after and concluding its calm.

We listen.

We let the roof break down every other minute.

We lead the water out as much as we can to not risk them touching more outlets.

We thank God there is no electricity yet to risk being electric eels that don’t live.

We joke somewhere I remember but it felt almost miniscule- that says a lot.

Personally, I thank God we were all strong in different ways but without a doubt.

No wonder we all somehow feel…

“safe”

We got this,

we have to,

we will,

we choose to.